These past couple of weeks have been fantastic. I’ve had this amazing job, spending some quality time with one of the few non-living things I love – books. I had fun every day, and learned a few things from my supervisor. I saw the last HP film, which was the epitome of bittersweetness. Mostly sweet though. I’ve been to a festival, which was one of the craziest experiences I’ve ever had. It included seeing some awesome bands, crying at a few concerts, dancing with strangers, moshing, and laughing at silly things…like seeing someone you used to consider to be pretty bland fucked up. And I mean really fucked up. Just generally living in the moment. Oh, and what might be the biggest thing – I’m getting a tattoo. Well, I’ll have to wait six months, but it’s happening. Which is bigger than getting a tattoo would normally be. Because I never do these kind of things. Things that aren’t neutral, things that can’t be taken back. I feel like I’m improving. At least I’m trying to. And trying is the first step, right?
But there’s still something missing. There’s a void, and I keep telling myself that I should be focusing on me, and let the other stuff come later, but it’s easier said than done. I thought that the summer would make me forget him. That the infatuation would fade when the “object” was taken away. I think that it had the opposite effect. Which is bad. And good. Or I don’t know. I guess I’ll just have to see when ordinary life kicks in again. Maybe this is a good thing. In any case, I’m going to focus on the here and now, and try to really enjoy my life. Because I know that I’m really lucky to have it.