Summer.

Hello.

These past couple of weeks have been fantastic. I’ve had this amazing job, spending some quality time with one of the few non-living things I love – books. I had fun every day, and learned a few things from my supervisor. I saw the last HP film, which was the epitome of bittersweetness. Mostly sweet though. I’ve been to a festival, which was one of the craziest experiences I’ve ever had. It included seeing some awesome bands, crying at a few concerts, dancing with strangers, moshing, and laughing at silly things…like seeing someone you used to consider to be pretty bland fucked up. And I mean really fucked up. Just generally living in the moment. Oh, and what might be the biggest thing – I’m getting a tattoo. Well, I’ll have to wait six months, but it’s happening. Which is bigger than getting a tattoo would normally be. Because I never do these kind of things. Things that aren’t neutral, things that can’t be taken back. I feel like I’m improving. At least I’m trying to. And trying is the first step, right?

But there’s still something missing. There’s a void, and I keep telling myself that I should be focusing on me, and let the other stuff come later, but it’s easier said than done. I thought that the summer would make me forget him. That the infatuation would fade when the “object” was taken away. I think that it had the opposite effect. Which is bad. And good. Or I don’t know. I guess I’ll just have to see when ordinary life kicks in again. Maybe this is a good thing. In any case, I’m going to focus on the here and now, and try to really enjoy my life. Because I know that I’m really lucky to have it.

Xx.

Advertisements

Smiles through a purple haze.

That was the first night I dreamt of P***** U***** (also known as Phreckles).

Everything is in pastels. I’m sitting in this beautiful garden, filled with flowers made of jewels and birds chirping. In the background, I hear wind chimes, nothing out of the ordinary, seeing as I pay no attention to it. I’m sitting at a backgammon table that seats four, the pieces in mint green and salmon pink instead of the usual red and black. Next to me, there’s an old, very elegant man whose presence oozes with authority. Across from him, his wife sits a beauty with auburn hair streaked with silver. I look in front of me and see Phreckles sitting in front of me. The man starts saying something about a mission and we’re clearly aware of the situation. From what I can gather, the man is head of a mafia family that me and Phreckles are working for. He and his wife are our bosses, but also kind of parental figures, they tell us to relax for a bit before it all starts. Suddenly, Phreckles starts talking to me, peppering me with questions. In pleasantly surprised and we have this long conversation about something I can’t remember. Then, the man makes some comment about him liking me, amused by our interaction. Phreckles blushes and looks down, mumbling something about checking out a certain tent. He walks away and the woman says that it’s obvious that he likes me. I’m sceptic, but after they probe me to go after him, I leave. Then I’m at this big music festival with huge white tents. The grass is azure and the sky a pale peach. I go from tent to tent, searching after him. After what feels like an eternity, I decide to give up. When this happens, I’m in some tent where a bunch of people is sitting in a circle. I join them and a hookah is passed around. I take a deep drag, feeling the apple-flavored smoke fill my lungs, and as I release my breath, a lilac puff of smoke hazing my vision, I see Phreckles sitting next to me, smiling. He takes my hand, and as we sit there in the violet, smoky tent…

I wake up.

So random.

My days have consisted of twitter, studying, twitter, White Lies, Kings of Leon, SXSW and even more twitter. Seriously, I’m hooked. And now I can fawn over Jared Followill on a more personal level. No, I’m kidding. Partially. Honestly though, SXSW – I’m so bummed I can’t go. I get that it’s virtually impossible for me to go, considering we’re literally an ocean apart, but I can’t help but fantasize about packing my backpack, buying a last-minute ticket and just go. Screw everything. Yeah, I’ll just keep dreaming. This has been one of the least substantial posts I’ve ever written, kudos to me. Here’s a pretty picture to compensate for my lack of interesting things to say.

Love & swallows