Rain.

A funny thing about my “Regn” playlist is that I always end up listening to it. When it’s raining and when it’s not. When it’s cold and when it’s warm. When it’s summer and when it’s winter. When it’s night and when it’s day. When it’s light and when it’s dark. It’s always rain, rain, rain. What does this mean? That my songs aren’t really suited for only rain at all? But when I look at the list, it’s exactly what I think of – cold, wet, drizzling rain. So is it always raining? I think that it is. It’s always raining in my head. Whether I’m happy or sad, tired or excited, there’s always the pitter patter of drops hitting the window in the background. So, whenever I feel like it, I know that “Regn” will always be there to welcome me.

Playlist – Regn

1. The Perishers – Trouble Sleeping

2. Death Cab for Cutie – Transatlanticism

3. Dios Malos – You Got Me All Wrong

4. Bright Eyes – Lover I Don’t Have to Love

5. Broken Social Scene – Anthems for a Seventeen Year Old

6. Ryan Adams – Wonderwall (Oasis Cover)

7. Mazzy Star – Into Dust

8. Bright Eyes – Bad Blood

9. Aqualung – Strange and Beautiful

10. Nada Surf – Your Legs Grow

11. Yo La Tengo – Autumn Sweater

12. Bon Iver – Bracket, WI

13. Band of Horses – Cigarettes, Wedding Bands

14. Death Cab for Cutie – Crooked Teeth

15. Iron and Wine – Each Coming Night

16. Bon Iver – Flume

17. José González – Heartbeats (The Knife Cover)

18. Mumford and Sons – I Gave You All

19. The White Stripes – In the Cold, Cold Night

20. Paramore – Misguided Ghosts

21. The Shins – New Slang

22. Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Soft Shock (Acoustic Version)

23. Iron and Wine – Such Great Heights (Postal Service Cover)

24. M. Craft – Dragonfly

25. Bloc Party – Signs

26. Blue Foundation – Eyes On Fire

27. Sonic Youth – Superstars (The Carpenters Cover)

28. Florence and the Machine – Hospital Beds (Cold War Kids Cover)

29. Coconut Records – Microphone

30. Sea Wolf – Black Dirt

Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me.

I feel like I’m losing my spark. It’s devastating. It’s not even that I’m feeling down, though that would be preferable. I just feel myself becoming…off.  With every day that passes, I feel myself getting grayer. Like a washed out version of myself. It’s scary, because I don’t know how to stop it. I know school is a big reason, I fill my life with routines and eventually, I’ll just go into an automatic mode where my mind doesn’t have to be present for my body to go through the motions. I guess I have to fill every free second I get with things that I enjoy. It’s just hard, because ever moment I don’t have everything to do, I either think about the things I will have to do, or I’m too exhausted to think at all. Too tired to do anything. I don’t know. I just know it’s a bit of a crucial situation, because it’s only been a week since school started, and I already feel fucked up. I need to find a solution. And fast. I need my spark back.

Tune of the day, because it was playing in the background while I was reading Scott Pilgrim – Precious Little Life, one of the, very meaningful, gifts I received from my dear friend, Succumb, desperately trying to get my groove back. It kind of worked. Fleetingly. But it’s mainly because it feels right. It just fits.

Used to be one of the rotten ones and I liked you for that.
Now you’re all gone got your make-up on and you’re not coming back.