Rain.

A funny thing about my “Regn” playlist is that I always end up listening to it. When it’s raining and when it’s not. When it’s cold and when it’s warm. When it’s summer and when it’s winter. When it’s night and when it’s day. When it’s light and when it’s dark. It’s always rain, rain, rain. What does this mean? That my songs aren’t really suited for only rain at all? But when I look at the list, it’s exactly what I think of – cold, wet, drizzling rain. So is it always raining? I think that it is. It’s always raining in my head. Whether I’m happy or sad, tired or excited, there’s always the pitter patter of drops hitting the window in the background. So, whenever I feel like it, I know that “Regn” will always be there to welcome me.

Playlist – Regn

1. The Perishers – Trouble Sleeping

2. Death Cab for Cutie – Transatlanticism

3. Dios Malos – You Got Me All Wrong

4. Bright Eyes – Lover I Don’t Have to Love

5. Broken Social Scene – Anthems for a Seventeen Year Old

6. Ryan Adams – Wonderwall (Oasis Cover)

7. Mazzy Star – Into Dust

8. Bright Eyes – Bad Blood

9. Aqualung – Strange and Beautiful

10. Nada Surf – Your Legs Grow

11. Yo La Tengo – Autumn Sweater

12. Bon Iver – Bracket, WI

13. Band of Horses – Cigarettes, Wedding Bands

14. Death Cab for Cutie – Crooked Teeth

15. Iron and Wine – Each Coming Night

16. Bon Iver – Flume

17. José González – Heartbeats (The Knife Cover)

18. Mumford and Sons – I Gave You All

19. The White Stripes – In the Cold, Cold Night

20. Paramore – Misguided Ghosts

21. The Shins – New Slang

22. Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Soft Shock (Acoustic Version)

23. Iron and Wine – Such Great Heights (Postal Service Cover)

24. M. Craft – Dragonfly

25. Bloc Party – Signs

26. Blue Foundation – Eyes On Fire

27. Sonic Youth – Superstars (The Carpenters Cover)

28. Florence and the Machine – Hospital Beds (Cold War Kids Cover)

29. Coconut Records – Microphone

30. Sea Wolf – Black Dirt

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Bad blood.

Tune of the day CXXIV.

It’s not like someone who’s felt like I feel (although that’s most likely the case) is telling their story. It’s like that person showing me that they know what I’m thinking, and not only that, but also responding to my thoughts – actually telling me what I should do. I want to say “I know, you’re right. It’s just so hard.” But then I remind myself that it’s just a song. And suddenly I realize that I’m actually responding to my own thoughts. I tell myself that I’ll try, and even though I’m dubious, I accept that answer. Because I know it’s all I can muster up the will to do. Try. How weak. Disgusting.


No news
That’s good news
Someone’s gonna break
See things change
I’ve been changing everything
It’s peaceful
The pitch black
When the last light on goes out
I’m stranded
In my bed
So I think about
The bad luck
The bad blood
That may have come between
Two good souls
That’s one heck of an offering
So take these gifts that have been given
And ended up with an alphabet
But some words are too wrong to define
Now the whole world is waking up
A ribbon cut for the opening
We all knew that day would arrive
Up all night
All upset
The outside’s growing light
No breakfast
Just not much of an appetite
So be cool
And believe in the things you haven’t learned
’cause you lost
And it’s gone
But it will return
Now it’s all laid out in front of you
And that’s half murdered the mystery
Are you still too shy to describe?
Now the whole world is waking up
A ribbon cut for the opening
Yes, finally the day has arrived
So seek
And rejoice
Fill your hands with something tangible
And fly your love
Like a flag
And destroy the desire
For that which is impossible
And accept what you get with a smile

I want a lover I don’t have to love.

Tune of the day CVIII.

I picked you out
Of a crowd and talked to you
Said I liked your shoes
You said “Thanks, can I follow you?”
So it’s up the stairs
And out the aim of prying eyes
I poured some wine
I asked your name
You asked the time

Now it’s two o’clock
The club is closed, we’re up the block
Your hands on me
Pressing hard against your jeans
Your tongue in my mouth
Trying to keep the words from coming out
You didn’t care to know
Who else may have been you before

I want a lover I don’t have to love
I want a girl who’s too sad to give a fuck
Where’s the kid with the chemicals?
I thought he said he’d meet me here but I’m not sure
I got the money if you got the time
He said, “It feels good”
I said, “I’ll give it a try”

Then my mind went dark
We both forgot where your car was parked
Let’s just take the train
I’ll meet up with the band in the morning

Bad actors with bad habits
Some sad singers
They just play tragic
And the phone’s ringing
And the band’s leaving
Let’s just keep touching
Let’s just keep keep, keep singing

I want a lover I don’t have to love
I want a boy who’s so drunk he doesn’t talk
Where’s the kid with the chemicals
I got a hunger and I can’t seem to get full
I need some meaning I can memorize
The kind I have always seems to slip my mind

But you, but you
You write such pretty words
But life’s no storybook
Love’s an excuse to get hurt
And to hurt
Do you like to hurt?
I do, I do
Then hurt me