Rain.

A funny thing about my “Regn” playlist is that I always end up listening to it. When it’s raining and when it’s not. When it’s cold and when it’s warm. When it’s summer and when it’s winter. When it’s night and when it’s day. When it’s light and when it’s dark. It’s always rain, rain, rain. What does this mean? That my songs aren’t really suited for only rain at all? But when I look at the list, it’s exactly what I think of – cold, wet, drizzling rain. So is it always raining? I think that it is. It’s always raining in my head. Whether I’m happy or sad, tired or excited, there’s always the pitter patter of drops hitting the window in the background. So, whenever I feel like it, I know that “Regn” will always be there to welcome me.

Playlist – Regn

1. The Perishers – Trouble Sleeping

2. Death Cab for Cutie – Transatlanticism

3. Dios Malos – You Got Me All Wrong

4. Bright Eyes – Lover I Don’t Have to Love

5. Broken Social Scene – Anthems for a Seventeen Year Old

6. Ryan Adams – Wonderwall (Oasis Cover)

7. Mazzy Star – Into Dust

8. Bright Eyes – Bad Blood

9. Aqualung – Strange and Beautiful

10. Nada Surf – Your Legs Grow

11. Yo La Tengo – Autumn Sweater

12. Bon Iver – Bracket, WI

13. Band of Horses – Cigarettes, Wedding Bands

14. Death Cab for Cutie – Crooked Teeth

15. Iron and Wine – Each Coming Night

16. Bon Iver – Flume

17. José González – Heartbeats (The Knife Cover)

18. Mumford and Sons – I Gave You All

19. The White Stripes – In the Cold, Cold Night

20. Paramore – Misguided Ghosts

21. The Shins – New Slang

22. Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Soft Shock (Acoustic Version)

23. Iron and Wine – Such Great Heights (Postal Service Cover)

24. M. Craft – Dragonfly

25. Bloc Party – Signs

26. Blue Foundation – Eyes On Fire

27. Sonic Youth – Superstars (The Carpenters Cover)

28. Florence and the Machine – Hospital Beds (Cold War Kids Cover)

29. Coconut Records – Microphone

30. Sea Wolf – Black Dirt

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Readers, are you there?

Several years have passed since I first started this thing, and I’ve come a long way, but there’s still something I hardly know anything about – you guys. If you exist, that is. Write me a little something about yourself in the comments? Or something random, whichever is fine. It’d just make everything a little more real, you know?

Don’t speak, just dance.

What I’ve recently learned about myself is that, when I’m at a party, there’s nothing I like doing more than dance. Why? Because you don’t have to talk to people you don’t know. Now, I know that just sounds like I’m being socially incompetent, which I partially am, but it’s true – even the most obnoxious person is bearable when they’re shutting up and dancing. You don’t have to spend time making stiff conversation, you can just connect by moving to the same beat. You can lose yourself and find someone else at the same time.

Also, there was a boy that reminded me of Phreckles. Now I understand people who hook up with people just because they remind them of the person they like(d). I cared too much, he was awkward and adorable. He is also a year younger than me. So no.

Oh, and a boy in heels is a giant. A glamorous amazon. A glamazon. He was stuck up and nice at the same time, weird and impressive. Also impressive, his makeup. Bree van de Kamp never looked this fabulous…or slutty. Same thing.

A last thing: Some people aren’t so stuck up as you’d think. And some are the opposite. But what else is new?

Polar Bear.

I have a new old friend. I re-discovered him while looking through our main closet, a little friend. He’s a polar bear with a red, knitted sweater with snowflakes and a logo on it and a coke in his hand…err, paw. He has dark brown, slanted eyes and a black nose. I call him Michael, because he reminds me of Michael Cera. He has the softest, white fur, and when I bury my head in it, I feel home. I wasn’t much for teddy bears when I was little, so I guess that impulse is coming in a bit later than other cases. I really love it though. My little, new-old friend.

What?

Once, I had a dream that I was in this huge city filled with concrete buildings without windows. The whole city was in the same shade of pale gray with the sky a deep charcoal. I was running along with a huge crowd, all heading to a Paramore concert. After running for what felt like hours without getting anywhere (literally running in the same place), I just stopped and realized: Wait, this is just a dream. And then I thought, well it is a Paramore concert, so what the heck, let’s see where this takes us. And then we all arrived at this huge dome where the concert was going to be held. When I woke up, I still had the feeling of elation…until I realized it wasn’t real. But had I actually realized that it was a dream, or was it just a fake realization that was a part of the dream, considering that I just kept on going? And if I really was aware, was it really me being acting “rationally” and choosing to go to the concert, or was I still constricted in my awareness and had to follow the course of the dream? I dunno man, but it was very strange.

New/Mine/Old

I can find an article of clothing in a store and fall in love with it right away. At first sight, I immediately think that this is the thing that’s been missing in my closet for all my life, and mentally put together a billion outfits with this one piece as the focus. I spend an inappropriate amount of time practically salivating over it, feeling the fabric between my fingers and finally decide to try it on. As I look in the mirror, I sigh and think: it’s perfect. Something makes me hesitate though, what if I regret it later? So I leave the store empty-handed, and spend the entire week just thinking about that one article of clothing, imagining countless other girls(or boys (?)) just buying every single one in the entire country. Then I practically run back there, throw the money on the cash register and snatch my new dress/top/pants/whatever as fast as I can. The whole night, I sit at home and have a Gollum moment, petting it while wheezing “precious” (okay not really, but you know), admiring my new whatever and just feeling general content regarding my decision. The following day, I wear it to school, and someone gives me a compliment. “Oh, what a lovely whatever you have!” And what do I respond? A meek “thanks”. WTF? Why does all the magic disappear as soon as I possess something? I mean, of course I think it’s lovely, I spent a week obsessing over it! I should answer: “I know, right?!” But I don’t even think it. It’s strange how it all changes so fast. Maybe the enchantment lays in actually wanting something you don’t have, and not the object of desire itself. Greedy human.

Snippets.

I love it when an accidental snippet of another song starts at the end of one when I’m listening to my iPod. It’s like those three seconds turn into a whole separate song, and at the same time – it becomes part of the real one. It’s like the song is empty without that little snippet, and even though I probably wouldn’t have liked the song if I heard the whole one, I automatically love the snippet. But what I love the most is that I’ll never hear it. The three minutes that follow those three seconds are completely unknown to me, and could be anything. The possibilities are endless.

…what I don’t love (I’ve realized), is the word ‘snippet’. It sounds like a penis being cut off with a pair of garden scissors. Ouch. No me gusta.