Deathly Hallows.

I went to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2, and it was…very interesting to say the least. I’ll start with the “before” part first, because well, I want to remember that. We watched part 1 at my place first, and I have to say, I was more antsy than anything. I just wanted to get to the theater as fast as possible and see how it all ended. The anxiety, joy, nervousness, excitement and grief didn’t come until later. I guess I didn’t fully grasp what was actually happening.

Anyways, so we get there three hours early, and have two freaking hours to kill when we’re done eating. We spent the first half hour just looking around and trying to spot who was an HP fan and who just came for the food. We came to the conclusion that we were the only ones and started freaking out. That freaking out was for the lack of fans. Then they arrived. And cue freaking out over the actual presence of fans. Sure, we we’re kind of expecting the costumes, but it was different seeing it in real life. And I mean really different. There was a freaking Voldemort, for goodness’ sake! They were all walking around, looking all nerdy, and then we were bummed. Because we wanted to be nerdy too. The solution ended up being to…well, not give a fuck, and just make a joke out of it. A loving joke. I drew a lightning bolt on my forehead with lipstick and I (not-so) vaguely recall a wand being made out of straws. It was fun. Of course, we realized that nothing mattered once the movie started, but that wasn’t until later.

Which brings us to the actual movie. Let’s get serious for a while here. That was the most amazing film that has ever been made. And it probably will be for all eternity, because honestly – how can you top that? It was the perfect ending of the best story that has ever been told. I am in awe of how good that movie was, and I feel so incredibly honored to have been a part of it. To actually have experienced it from the beginning, until the end. And what an ending it was. That was exactly what HP deserved. Had the ending been just a tad less than what it was, I would have been completely devastated. But now I didn’t get a chance to get angry, because how could I demand more than the perfect ending it actually got? No words can properly describe that movie, but the one that comes closest is perfection. And I mean it literally. Flawless. And I cried and I cried and I cried. I mourned the deaths of the characters I’d come to love, and I cried with joy over the fact that the war finally ended. They got peace. And it was with this that I could finally get peace. I had finally realized that it really wasn’t the end, it couldn’t be even if I wanted it to. It’s a part of me, and it will be forever. Just as the story will live on forever. So all I have to say the story of Harry Potter is thank you.

From the bottom of my heart. Thank you.

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And if a double-decker bus crashes into us, to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die.

Tune of the day CXL.

Just hearing the very first line for the very first time made me want to cry. This is such an amazing song. One of those gems. And I’ve chosen to post two versions of it, mainly because I couldn’t decide which I wanted on her, but also because I’ll be seeing both Dum Dum Girls and the legendary Morrissey (former lead singer of The Smiths) this week. I’m losing my music festival virginity. Color me fucking stoked.

Yeah so, even though I’m posting two versions, you don’t actually have to listen to both. There are like a gazillion covers of this song, but the only one I could find by girls, and coincidentally the best one imo, was this one. Add the fact that Dum Dum Girls are awesome, and you have a winning concept. The result is a rougher, rockier version of the original. I love the juxtaposition of the raw instrumentals and Dee Dee’s melodical voice. And the fact that it’s an all girl band makes it that much more badass. However, the original is the original. And The Smith’s version is just heavenly, soft and strong and dreamy and angsty all at the same time. 90’s music at its best (well it was released twice, once in 1986 and again as a single in 1992, so it’s actually straddling the line between the decades. But I still think that it feels like a 90’s song). So just pick which one you’d rather hear and click play. Though it would make me extra-super-duper happy if you listened to both. Naturally.

Take me out tonight
Where there's music and there's people
Who are young and alive

Purgatory.

I’m stuck. Trapped in a big white room of nothing, staring into brightness. My head is filled with lack of substance, a pressure applied to clear the space – to prepare it for something more. I’m in this seemingly infinite void, waiting for something. I know what I’m waiting for. I think I know what I’m waiting for.

Do I know what I’m waiting for?

Am I waiting for my destiny, or the thing that will keep me from it? Doubt fills my head as I wander, going around in circles. The eye of my mind sees a picture, a picture of my potential future. I want to reach out and touch it, but every time I try, it moves further away. Getting smaller and smaller until there’s nothing but a small black dot of insignificance left. I realize that my impatience ruins the possibility, and stop trying to bring it to me. Instantly, the picture returns to its original state. Instead, I try to see what the picture depicts. I squint my eyes, trying to discern the motif, only being met by fog. It’s of no use. I can’t touch my dream, and I can’t see it, so how do I know that it’s real?

Faith is blind.

I’ll just have to hope, and try my best, even if I don’t know exactly what I’m working for. I’ll just have to focus on the feeling alone, and make sure that it’s enough. And this, this is the ultimate test. To see if I can actually do this, if I can keep myself focused and centered enough to get where I want. To be able to meet my fate.

This is purgatory.

(The combination of burnt sienna and cyan makes my knees go weak. And it’s incredibly intricate. I could spend hours looking at this.)