Close your eyes to corral a virtue, is this fooling anyone else?

Never worked so long and hard to cement a failure…

Hello poppets,

just doing some quick blogging. I just wasted another evening studying and after that, I decided to see just exactly how much I have going on these days. I have reached the conclusion that I have at least one important task in literally every subject, I just ask myself what I ask every time school throws something flabbergasting at me: is this even legal? Something that surprises me, and if I’m being honest, kind of amazes me, is how school always manages to trump itself with every assignment. It’s so overwhelming that I almost laugh. Almost. What worries me a bit is the fact that I’m not ready to crawl under a rock yet. It’s like I see the mountain of work I have ahead of me, and I pity myself. I sympathize with myself, when I clearly should be empathizing…considering I’m the one who should be having the feeling in the first place. And by saying this, I don’t mean that fretting over studying is the right thing to do, it’s just that I know myself, and this is exactly the kind of thing that would make me all emo. I’m worried for myself. So it’s kind of the right feeling, but for the wrong reason. Maybe I’m over-thinking it. Maybe I should just enjoy being chill. I’m just scared that it’ll all come crashing down at once. I really don’t want to have an anxiety attack, especially when I need my brain the most. Oh well, I’ll just have to cross my fingers and hope for the best.

Tune of the day, a song that I’ve underestimated in the past, I was studying for a Spanish test when it came on shuffle and the intro kinda overthrew me. Not that the intro itself is so extraordinary, but I just wasn’t expecting hearing this song I didn’t even remember having. It was definitely a wow-moment.

We can blow on our thumbs and posture,
But the lonely is such delicate things,
The wind from a wasp could blow them,
Into the sea,
With stones on their feet,
Lost to the light and the loving we need,

And still to come,
The worst part and you know it,
There is a numbness,
In your heart and it’s growing.

Love & nebulas

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