To the outside, the dead leaves, they all blow

Hello blog,

it’s been ages since I wrote last, but I’m not going to excuse that. Sometimes you don’t have anything to say and

“Talking without thought is not talking at all.” Those words always make me smile. Very wise.

Anyways, these past couple of days have been…heavy. It’s up and down all the time and this time it’s a long way down. I’m starting to feel so much doubt about everything it’s suddenly so hard to find some light in this darkness. It’s starting to scare me a bit. I mean, I used to get sad but this is so all-encompassing. It feels so beyond sadness, it’s almost grief. Grief over nothing. It’s so overwhelming and in the middle of it, I just stop. Completely stunned. I’m seriously my worst enemy. I get so caught up in my own thoughts that I just get dragged deeper and deeper into my own mess. Luckily, I have a friend that reaches deep down in my black hole and pulls me out before I’m too far down. I don’t thank her enough for that. Thank you.

Alive is very poetic…

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