Wanna make life more exciting, bro

Okay, so I’m constantly thinking about how to make my life more interesting these days, what with my it being so boring and all. So, during my uneventful days, I’ve thought of a few things, all leading to me becoming a hipster. Which initially wasn’t my intention, but if the things I like and want to do equals me becoming a hipster, then so be it. I don’t want to label myself though. Anyways, here are some of the things I thought of.

1. Buy some new clothes.

Now, to the people who know me, this isn’t something new, as I already am an avid shopper. But this time, it’s the clothes I’ve always thought were cool, but never dared to buy myself. I’m talking about hipster clothes. Think Liz Lee (my idol btw). Graphic tees, skinny jeans, sneakers, beanies and cool caps. Actually, writing this kinda made me snort, ’cause I already wear this stuff. Kinda. I guess it’s just gonna be more focused from now on. Oh, and  a lot of secondhand shopping. So fun.

2. Start skating.

Yep, me, the person with the worst balance in the world, is going to buy a skateboard. I’ll admit, I’m a bit scared. But I’m thinking that maybe this’ll solve my problems, help me not fall over at random moments. Kind of an impulse decision, but those are needed in this case. Plus, it looks like so much fun.

3. Start playing bass.

I got a black acoustic guitar, named Charlie, and I’ve been playing it for a bit, but not too serious. A couple of months ago, I started fooling around and playing bass on it, and I gotta say, I really like it. I like the deeper sound and more steady strumming. Yeah, it seems me. So, I’m planning on buying a bass and actually becoming good at playing it. The dream is starting a band. Yes, I’m reaching, but you got to dream big, right?

4. Start  making sound effects when I’m doing everyday things.

Okay, this isn’t really serious lol. I just thought the list was too short. But making sound effects does make everything more fun, I do it from time to time.

Obviously, the goal is making my life fun. We’ll see if it works. If it doesn’t, I’ll just make another list.

Tune of the day. Chromeo is boss.

Chromeo – Fancy Footwork

Me and Harry growing up, side by side

I saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 1. It was amazing. I shuddered from pleasure, I laughed, I cringed, I jumped in fear and I cried. The theatre was filled and I felt the unity, everyone shuddered and laughed and cringed and jumped and cried together. When it was over, I clapped so hard my hands went red and tingled funnily. It was an applause of happiness, for being able to be a part of something so big, and it was a clap of frustrated fear. When I saw the first movie, I was seven and when I see the last movie, I’ll be seventeen. That will be ten years of my life with Harry Potter. More than half of my life. Practically my whole childhood. I don’t want to say goodbye to one more thing, one more thing that I will always connect to my childhood. You think, it’s just one thing, but then it’ll be another thing, and another, and another. ‘Til you realize there isn’t anything left. Until you realize you’ve actually, legitimately, grown up. I’ve, for as long as I remember, been saving all the tickets for the movies I’ve seen, but some got lost. I finally started putting them up on the inside of my closet a couple of months ago and I found the ticket for the first Harry Potter movie I saw in a theatre, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, it was in salon 10, which is the biggest, and I still remember that that was one of the best days in my life. I don’t want to forget that. Yesterday, I put up the ticket for HP7 and realized that I saw it in salon ten. I saw it in the exact same place as the first HP movie I saw in the theatre. That made me smile. I just hope I’ll never get over being a child. I never want to grow up.

I won’t ever be your corner stone…

Happy birthday, blog-eo!

Yesterday, it was one year ago that I finally clicked the button and created my first blog. My initial plan was to make this a diary, I just wanted my thoughts saved. Somewhere along the line, I started fantisizing a bit and thought that maybe someone out there might actually read this shit, so I tried to make it more “blog-y”. Turns out, that’s the same thing for me. Anyways, I’m pretty impressed with myself for not deleting this, even though I’m shitty at updating.

So, today’s Father’s Day. I didn’t even know until one of my friends told me and that made me sad. It made me sad because if I had a father in my life, I would have known this and maybe even done something nice. I don’t have any contact with my father at the moment, even though he lives an hour away and we have each other’s numbers. When I was little, he used to meet me for at least once a month and I thought that he was the best divorce-dad in the world for still wanting to see me. He would call me and wish me happy birthday and I would be so happy for the rest of the day. I adored my father. Then as the years passed, the meetings got fewer and more far in between. Eventually, they stopped altogether, but he still called every december 9th to wish me a happy birthday and for some reason, that was enough for me. Proof that I still mattered to him, I guess. One year, he didn’t call for my birthday. I waited and waited, but no call. Even though I didn’t express my disappointment, my mother could tell I was sad. She told me that he was probably busy and that I have a family that loves me very much. The year after, I still waited for that phone call, but it never came. Five years later, I gave up.  I gave up on the thought of having a father that cared. When people asked, or even just mentioned something about my father, I just told them I didn’t have a father. Of course, I added that I didn’t have a father in my life, but my tone said he was dead to me. A year later, he called and told me he wanted to meet me. Young as I was, I didn’t care that he had missed half of my life, all I thought was that my father did care. We met and everything was as if he’d never left. That was the last time I had an arranged meeting with my father. I did meet him a couple of times after that, just in passing, but I never had the guts to say something to him. All I did was stand there, with a lump in my throat, answering his inane questions about how school was doing and such. He even tried to compensate for his lack of parenting by asking if he could buy me anything. Yes, he really tried to buy my love. Idiot. A time has passed since then, and during this time I’ve come to loathe my father for taking away the things that I could have had, but I’ve also had time to get over my hate. The thing is, I’ve gone through the sadness stage and the anger stage, but shouldn’t acceptance come next? A long time has passed, but I still feel sorrow when I think about my father. I still feel that jab in my chest every time someone mentions their fathers and I still can’t stand talking about him. I don’t hold a grudge, because I know I couldn’t have turned out any better than I did and I know that I now have more than I would have had with him in my life, but I’m still sad. When will this end?  I wanted some peace, so I tried to arrange a meeting with him, but he just said he’d call me later. Of course, he didn’t. Okay, so he’s taking away the opportunity for closure too, what next? I have to get over this by myself, but I don’t know what to do. I’m still not over it and that frustrates me greatly. Some days are worse than others though, and this is one of them. I’m just glad I don’t feel this way all the time. I’m usually pretty happy. Well, mostly.

Tune of the day, everything about this song is perfection. Heartfelt.

Kings of Leon – Pyro

love and trucker caps