And the rest of our lives would have fared well.

Reminiscing with an old friend  over hot cocoa is the best. Sitting in a coffee shop, warm and cozy . Speaking about the good times, completely forgetting about the bad ones.  Thinking to yourself that you hadn’t realized how much you’d missed this particular person until that moment when you hug and realize your squeezing so tight it’s borderline painful. Wondering at what point you started considering this friend as ‘old’. Getting angry at yourself for waiting over a year to meet and silently promising that it won’t happen again. Feeling scared that you might be lying to yourself. Forgetting it when that person tells you something particularly funny only that person would say.  Like a reassurance that it isn’t over. We haven’t forgotten and we won’t. And then you look out the window, see the shivering people and practically feel the cold biting your cheeks. You see the street you walked down so many times during the summer and think to yourself that it looks different. You realize, time constantly passes and things follow, without exception. It all always changes and that’s okay.

The Shins – New Slang

Love & Green Dragons

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Life is like a super-mega-über-deluxe version of Chronon

So, I was thinking about everything and nothing, same ol’ same ol’, the other day and I came up with a theory…about life. DUN DUN DUUUN. Anyways, I think that life is like a humongous game. Now, don’t start rolling your eyes at me yet, I don’t mean any game. I mean like one of those games where you have to do a shitload of things in a certain order and if you do everything just right, something awesome will happen. Have you ever played a game called Chronon? You’re supposed to click certain things in a certain order at different time sets in, like, a…creature’s house and at the end, turns out it’s his birthday. If you’ve done everything right, he gets a cake. Funny creature. Anyways, it’s really complicated, and I mean really complicated. I think that every person’s life is like a Chronon and all of our Chronons intertwine to form the Ultimate Chronon or something. The cake is us, at the end of our lives, actually having lived to our full potential and being satisfied with how we’ve turned out. And in the game, even if you don’t succeed in making the cake, you can still have done pretty good, I mean the creature cries or something but whatever, but you can also fail miserably. That’s exactly how it is in real life, most of us do okay and many just go down the drain. Hardly anyone manages to make the cake and hey, let’s be real here, hardly anyone will probably reach “nirvana” or whatever. That’s the kinda sad part though, I couldn’t win the game no matter how hard I tried and even though I got pretty far, I just couldn’t let go of the fact that there was something better that could be achieved. So I cheated. I googled it and found a step-by-step run-through of how to win the game. How did you think it felt when I saw that creature smiling? It didn’t feel good at all, knowing that I just phonied my way through with the help of someone who actually did it all by him- or herself. That’s the way it is with life too, we’re greedy and always want the best, which can be good, but then we get so desperate we start faking ourselves through it. Then, when we reach the top, we realize it’s stolen. We don’t feel satisfied at all, instead we feel empty. I mean, who knows? I might have been able to make that goddamn cake after that 323494 try. Now I’ll never know.

You can play Chronon here. I’m warning you though, it’s a real brain tickler and will probably take you a while. Very challenging. Ofc, some people love a good challenge, like yours truly.

Tune of the day, simply because it sounds like it belongs in a game, which is never wrong:

The Postal Service – Brand New Colony

Love & Grapes

Ahh… (Yes, I know I am very eloquent and draw you in with my words)

So, I’m not dead. Not that anyone cares, but I’d just like to say that. I haven’t blogged (here) in what feels like ages, and that’s because…I haven’t had anything to write. Not that nothing’s happened in my life, believe me, it has, but I’ve just never felt the urge to put it here. Which makes me sad, now that I think about it. I just spent the last hour reading all my old posts and realized I have something special here. I’ve never done anything like this before, written exactly what’s in my head. I never had a diary…well, I’ve had several diaries, but let’s just say they’re mostly filled with nothing. I think the reason of my failed attempts is that I didn’t really feel it had a purpose. To write my thoughts in a book, I mean. What’s the point of writing the things that are in my head and reading them? It’s not like there’s going to be anything I didn’t already know in them. I know you’re supposed to look back and remember things or whatever, but it just felt kinda pointless. Writing here doesn’t feel pointless. It feels kinda meaningful actually, knowing that there’s a chance someone might read your words. And I’m actually starting to understand the point of  writing down your thoughts, I mean, I laughed my ass off at some of my posts, and not because of my stellar humor either. So, I’m going to be better now, start updating more. It might not be as much as the previous months, but that’s understandable, I didn’t have to defend my life in a sword fight against school every day back then. Summer break, those were the days. At least I’m almost halfway through high-school. Geez, I can’t believe I even came this far without breaking down completely. Came close a few times though. Anyways, from now on, more updates…even if no one’s reading this. Man, I’m coming back into my emoish ways quickly.

Tune of the day, seeing that familiar phrase makes me smile more than I imagined it would. Oh, I just gotta tell you, my music taste has been altered a bit. Or, rather, an addition has been made. As you might have noticed, american/rock/pop/teeny/punk or whatever has taken a bigger place in my music library. Very refreshing. And suits the place I’m in right now. Don’t get me wrong though, I’m still myself. Just upgraded. Constant upgrading.

Anyways, here’s the song. Reminds me of way back when it used to play on TV and I had no clue who Fall Out Boy was. I did like the song back then too though, which is kinda funny, now that I think about it. It also makes me think of the day, for obvious reasons…AND it makes me think of a relatively recent day when I “tore up the town” with my partner in crime. Speaking of that, I haven’t been completely absent in the Cyberworld this whole time, I do have another project. Can’t write about it, confidential shit, but if you for some reason find something you suspect has something to do with me, please do ask. This is sooo farfetched that I would be thoroughly amused if it were to come back to this blog. Anyways, here’s the song, with its very-hard-to-decipher lyrics:

Fall Out Boy – Sugar, We’re Going Down

Love & Antlers