(Probably) The best day/night of my entire life so far.

I know I said I’d write about Epic Thing no. 2, but I really can’t. Remember that I told you it was going to be epic? Well, it wasn’t. It was so much more. See, that doesn’t even cover it. I seriously can’t even begin to try to explain how big this is, so writing about it is futile. Another thing that has altered me fundamentally, nice how I’m starting to realize it now and I know that I won’t forget this. Ever.

PS. This vague as fuck post probably doesn’t entertain you at all, but it’s in cases exactly like this one that I stress (mostly to myself) that this blog is for me.

Tune of the Day: Every single fucking song ever made by a band that…well, let’s just say it’s important, whose name abbreviated consists of the same letters as a certain city in the States. Annoying? Yeah I know. Admit that you love it. No? Well, maybe it’s just me then…

So fucking epic.

This is the start of something new. This is big….huge. I’m so excited I don’t even know what to do with myself. Not to mention, that in about 9 hours and 10 minutes, another epic thing is going down. Anticipated, me? That’s a ginormous understatement. I feel like I’m, literally, bursting at the seams. If I can manage to get a hold of myself, I’ll write a more substantial (a.k.a. not stupid) post. But that has to be after Epic Thing no. 2. Probably tomorrow then. I’ll give you a pretty picture in the meantime, I was planning on doing some really deep accompanying text to it but I’m too fucking jittery to function properly right now haha. Since it’s so pretty, the pic itself should suffice.

(Weheartit ofc)

“Insert deep, insightful comment about how some things are fragile, how easy it is for them to end and how hard it is to be able to point out the exact moment when it corrupts etcetera etcetera.”

You still put the good in good bye.

Tune of the Day:

Paramore – Stay Away


STAY STAY STAY, STAY AWAY FROM ME! (Yeah, it’s back. What are you going to do about it? You know you want to join me, it’s the goddamn song. COME OVER TO THE DARK SIDE!!! No? Okay, I’ll really stop now.)

I want you so bad, can you feel it too? You know I’m so, I’m so in love with you.

Uhm, hello. So, as you may have noticed, I changed my header (and little pic on the side). Now, I don’t want to get banned for stealing or any other of that crazy stuff, so I better give credit to its rightful owner. The, very pretty, picture of the Corpse Bride was made by Alicechan, so check out her gallery to see more of her work. The pic with the  quote had a link written on it, but apparently that link was removed. So, the only credit I can give is to Weheartit, where I found it. Yeah, so now I’ve done everything I can, and won’t go to virtual prison. Yay me.

Tune of the Day, a song I chose simply because it’s good. This is a perfect example of a song I sing…no, actually, scream along with while thrashing around on the floor. Basically, the kind of song that makes you go batshit. In a good way:

Metro Station – Kelsey

(Oh and just on a sidenote, the thrashing mentioned in this post only occurs when I’m by myself. It would be highly dangerous if some one happened to be in close proximity while I’m in ‘the zone’. Limbs flailing and all. Not to mention, they could go deaf. Doesn’t sound so pleasant, does it? Never said it was. Still hella fun though.)

I’m out

We can’t shake it.

Term of the day: Lucid dreaming

I’ll start by explaining it a little. Lucid dreaming is when you’re dreaming and are aware of it, either you’re conscious of the fact that you’re dreaming as soon as you start or you eventually come to that conclusion after a time has passed. Having lucid dreams has often been linked to being able to control them, as both often happen in the same dream.

I read this blog post, and unsurprisingly enough, it perked my interest. Pretty much anything that has to do with the mind interests me actually…just thought I’d let you know, since it’s not reflected in this blog at all. Wow, sarcasm translates really well into text. Funny how I was sarcastic when saying (or writing, I should say) that sarcasm translates badly in writing. As if that’d translate well? Oh, the irony. Where was I? Right, the post. Anyways, it was written by Alex Gaskarth, a member of All Time Low (Yes, I am aware of the frequent mentioning of this band. You got a problem with that? Didn’t think so.), on the subject of lucid dreaming. Apparently, he experienced it and from what he’s written, it seems pretty amazing. And frightening.

So, I decided to do what I normally do, I wikied that shit (it’s a WA thing) and read about it some more. Apparently it can be used to “cure” nightmares, and by nightmares I assume they mean the kind of nightmares that occur very often and scars a person mentally…or maybe the other way around, a person who is scarred has nightmares because of it. It says that it helps if the person knows it’s just a dream, and I guess that makes sense. Another thing I read is that you can increase the chances of experiencing lucid dreaming if you keep a dream journal, you keep it close to you and write down what you’ve dreamt as soon as you wake up. I think I’m going to start writing a dream journal, maybe not so much for the lucid dreaming, but more for the sake of it. Sometimes, I dream some really bizarre stuff, and it would be interesting to be able to read about them later, when I’ve probably forgotten them. Plus, it will look really funny to have a book filled with bogus “stories”.

Something I first read in the post, but didn’t quite understand until later, is that when Alex knew he was dreaming, he wanted to look in a mirror, which magically appeared (So cool!), because he had read in an article (Is it bad that him reading odd articles makes me feel a connection? Yeah, that’s what I thought.) that that’s what you should do. Here’s where the frightening part comes in, he describes the experience like this: “what I saw was an eerie, shadowed reflection of myself who’s features were distorted to the point of scaring me enough to force myself awake.” I swear to God, my heart started pounding so hard when I read that. I mean, I was literally quivering with fear. And a sick part of me got morbidly interested. Like, I wonder what I would see if looked in a mirror? I will probably regret even wondering in the first place if I ever get the chance to see the answer, which, apparently, is the same reaction Alex had (No, I did not think/say to myself that we are kindred spirits! Yes, I do know that that’s farfetched…kinda. Okay, it is! Jesus, can’t a girl dream? Pun not intended, but I wish it was *gigglesnort*). Now that I think about it, it’s always when I’m afraid that I get interested in something and have to (Yes, have to. Even if I try to suppress the curiosity, it niggles at my brain until I give in.) read about it more. It’s actually the same thing when I see a horror film or thriller on TV, the rational part of me switches the channel because I know I’ll have nightmares, but the abnormality-loving part of me always changes back, just to switch it again. This goes on, and in the end, I’ve practically seen the whole movie…in flickers. Back to the topic. We were at…deranged reflection in the mirror part. Then I read, on Wiki, that there are a couple of ways to prove to yourself that you’re dreaming, if you ever happen to be able to control your dreams:

  • You can do the usual “pinch me, I’m dreaming” thing, although it probably won’t work. Even though you don’t feel the pain of a physical pinch, it can be simulated by the brain. Which will leave you thinking that you’re awake, when you’re actually asleep. So, this classic is obviously…bullshit. This is, in my opinion, highly unsettling.
  • You can look at a text or a digital clock, remember what it says, look away and then look back. In a dream, the content will likely change. Is it just me or does this sound…highly unsettling?
  • You can try flipping a light switch. If you’re dreaming, the light probably won’t change. This is only slightly unsettling, the grandeur of being able to make a light switch appear by pure will makes up for the creepiness…a little.
  • As Alex wrote about, if you look at yourself in a mirror, your reflection will probably be blurred, distorted, incorrect or frightening. Being able to make a mirror appear does not make up for anything in this case. Still highly unsettling.
  • If familiar music is playing, you can see if the lyrics have changed or if the tempo of the song has increased. *silence with eyes big as saucers* Yep, highly unsettling.

I just wanted to add that sometimes during a dream like this, you will dream that you wake up. Then, thinking you’re awake, you will do your daily routines…while sleeping. So it’s a dream within a dream. Highly unsettling? I think so too.

So, in conclusion, this is some freaky shit. I’m scared, and I almost don’t want to fall asleep tonight, but I’m also fascinated…and desperately want to experience this (yes, I know I don’t make sense whatsoever. Thank you for pointing out that I’m abnormal.) And, for some reason, fascination always trumps fright. Now that I think about it, it’s actually mind overpowering body. Interesting.

Tune of the day, because the music reminds me of dreaming, it’s slack (that’s what she said) and relaxing, but at the same time it’s a bit hectic and busy. I like that it has a small amount of words, it let’s you enjoy the music…sometimes, words are unnecessary. Cheers for still reading:

The American Analog Set – Hard to Find

(Oh and btw, even though this post contains the same subjects as the ones brought up in the movie Inception, I did not have it in mind while writing. Ironically enough though, I did see that movie the other week. I recommend it. Not that that is of high importance, the whole world does too. Okay, I’m exaggerating. It’s still good though.)

I could go on and on about these things, but lucky for you, my eyelids are heavy as lead and it physically hurts to type right now. I guess that’s a sign that I should go to bed, right? Right. Then why am I typing this? It must be the lack of sleep, it’s affecting my ability to think logically. I love that I am able to write that, but still won’t go to sleep. Some one just logged on with the status “sleeping” included in the username. Obviously that person is asleep. Talk about multitasker, chatting while sleeping. Good to see the snarkiness is intact. Who gives a fuck about logic? All I need is my sarcasm and I’m good. Okay, I’ll stop now. No seriously, this mini-ramble within the already rambling post is getting longer than the actual post. I’m going to sleep now…srsly. Yay me. Okay, I’ll stop. Good night.

Forgive me, I’m trying to find my calling. I’m calling at night…

RAMBLING ALERT! Just thought I’d warn ya, it’s confusing as hell. 

I wonder if it really is possible to move on when you lose your true love…or, at least who you think is your true love at the time. Some people think that you just have to move on…and they do. Pretty successfully. Is that really true love though? Some feel like dying, like they can’t ever be okay again. Is that all in their head? Are you weak if you don’t even try to move on, strong if you pretend that it never happened? Maybe it depends on the person. Is there really only one true love? I mean, I think that’s the case, but you can’t ever be sure, right? And sometimes you hear about people being with someone, thinking that he/she is the one, but then later find their true “The One”. Is it really that easy to confuse the two? Is it just a difference between infatuation and love, or can that be true love too?  In that case, in what way? I mean, it’s not like you love a friend, but still not as deep as the love you feel for your soulmate. Or maybe it is? That was a whole lot of questions, a few half-assed theories…and zero fucking answers haha. I feel like that’s always the case with me, or probably people in general, you never know anything for sure. At least not about the things that go on in the head…or heart, I guess.

Tune of the Day now. A lovely, but sad, song by the band mentioned in previous post. Thank you D for introducing me to their…I don’t know what the hell to call it hahaha, it’s awesome though! (Oh, and for not being anal about keeping good bands secret. Because what have we learned? That’s right boys and girls: sharing is caring. LOL. No, but you know what I mean). Here it is:

All Time Low – Remembering Sunday


‘Cause I’ve been going crazy, I don’t want to waste another minute…here.

I think this is the beginning of a new era of my life. An era where I won’t give a fuck, do stupid things and not be ashamed, having fun and just being fucking retarded. Thank you All Time Low, for showing me the way to a more enjoyable life. Oh, and btw, I’m so stoked about seeing them. Rocking the fuck out on their concert, acting dumb, moshing and just having a good ol’ time. Not to mention the fact that I’ll actually get to meet them, so awesome! So yeah, we’ll see what kind of shenanigans we’ll get into. I’m sure it’ll be thoroughly entertaining. So, maybe it’s not my weekend, but it’s gonna be my year!

Until later, Peace out…

“I got ‘jambon’ tattooed on my dick.”

We are beautiful, we are doomed.

Art made by the amazing Deviant To-fu. I love the way she manages to make it look like there’s a film over their eyes. Makes them look clouded, like they’re there, but yet, they’re somewhere else. They are beautiful, and judging by their confident superiority à la Looking for Alaska (read it btw, Holden incarnate), they may very well be doomed.

Tune of the Day, to continue in the “live hard, die fast” lines. I’ve always been drawn to stories about teenagers being on top of the world, having everything, and then in the end crashing…hard. There’s something about the Tragic Adolescent that fascinates me:

Los Campesinos! – We Are Beautiful, We Are Doomed

I cannot emphasise enough that my body
Is a badly designed, poorly put together vessel,
Harbouring these diminishing, so-called ‘vital organs’
Hope my heart goes first,